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How to Tell When We Will Die

On Pain, Disability, and Doom

Audiobook
1 of 1 copy available
1 of 1 copy available

The long-awaited essay collection from one of the most influential voices in disability activism that detonates a bomb in our collective understanding of care and illness, showing us that sickness is a fact of life.

In the wake of the 2014 Ferguson riots, and sick with a chronic condition that rendered them housebound, Johanna Hedva turned to the page to ask: How do you throw a brick through the window of a bank if you can't get out of bed? It was not long before this essay, "Sick Woman Theory", became a seminal work on disability, because in reframing illness as not just a biological experience but a social one, Hedva argues that under capitalism?a system that limits our worth to the productivity of our bodies?we must reach for the revolutionary act of caring for ourselves and others.

How to Tell When We Will Die expands upon Hedva's paradigm-shifting perspective in a series of slyly subversive and razor-sharp essays that range from the theoretical to the personal?from Deborah Levy and Susan Sontag to wrestling, kink, mysticism, death, and the color yellow. Drawing from their experiences with America's byzantine healthcare system, and considering archetypes they call The Psychotic Woman, The Freak, and The Hag in Charge, Hedva offers a bracing indictment of the politics that exploit sickness?relying on and fueling ableism?to the detriment of us all.

With the insight of Anne Boyer's The Undying and Leslie Jamison's The Empathy Exams, and the wit of Samantha Irby, Hedva's debut collection upends our collective understanding of disability. In their radical reimagining of a world where care and pain are symbiotic, and our bodies are allowed to live free and well, Hedva implores us to remember that illness is neither an inconvenience or inevitability, but an enlivening and elemental part of being alive.

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    • Publisher's Weekly

      August 12, 2024
      In these sharp essays, novelist Hedva (Your Love Is Not Good) reflects on living with chronic illness. In “Sick Woman Theory,” Hedva discusses how flareups of their fibromyalgia and chronic shingles cause searing pain that leaves them bedridden for months at a time. They push back against misogynistic associations between illness and a concept of femininity defined by weakness and fragility, instead asserting that “you don’t need to be fixed, my queens—it’s the world that needs the fixing.” This focus on the social construction of disability recurs throughout, as when Hedva laments in “Letter to a Young Doctor” that “wellness” is often functionally synonymous with an individual’s capacity to contribute to capitalist enterprise. “She, Etcetera” praises Susan Sontag’s perceptive writings on illness even as it critiques Sontag’s personal view that “if she was not healed, even completely cured, she had failed,” an outlook Hedva decries as founded in the ableist assumption that illness constitutes an aberration from a “normal” state of health. Hedva’s philosophical takes on disability are consistently illuminating, even if the subject matter makes for heavy reading (“Can I Hit You?” explores the complex connections between the physical abuse Hedva endured from their mother as a child, the pain from their illness, and their preference for masochistic sex). Probing and sophisticated, this is worth seeking out.

    • AudioFile Magazine
      Disability rights advocate Johanna Hedva performs their essay collection, 10 years in the making. Hedva's observations about society are sharp and insightful. Disability sits at the core of their writing, and they challenge listeners to see it as a social experience, in addition to a biological one. Their essays also tackle other topics, such as Asian American identity, queerness, kink, and what it's like being nonbinary. Hedva's performance, personable and intimate, makes the listener feel as if they are sitting at a live author event. Hedva's narration adds emotional depth, creating a unique listening experience. K.D.W. © AudioFile 2024, Portland, Maine

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  • English

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