Letters to My Son

February 1, 1993
With these letters addressed to his first child--``In midlife . . . I was surprised with the birth of a son''--Nerburn, a Minnesota sculptor, theologian and oral historian, bequeaths him a legacy of wisdom about marriage, fatherhood, infidelity, wanderlust, war, work, aging and death. The magic is that Nerburn counsels a gentle strength while accepting that men are wracked by their biology. He advices men not to rush off to war without knowing why, nor to hurry into every woman's bed, for each encounter is like ``a little marriage'' and each separation leaves men less able to love. Nerburn also prefers marriage to simply living together, because marriage gives ``gravity'' to a relationship. His ideas on lovemaking, which are very empathetic to the needs of women, could prove more helpful than most sex manuals.